Just a Dream
by MmeGray
Summary: What if Jasper had a fiancee that he never told anyone about? Not even Alice? How would she feel when she found out that he'd been declared dead during the Civil War? Oneshot songfic. VERY SAD!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Jasper, and the song is **_**Just a Dream**_** by Carrie Underwood.**

_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen_

I cannot believe it. My fiancée has been declared dead. This news…this horrible news…why? Why Jasper? And why right after my eighteenth birthday?

_All dressed in white  
Going to the church that night_

The small funeral we are having for him will only be our families, as all of his friends are in the army as well. My dress will be the one my mother had picked out for our wedding._  
_

_She had his box of letters in the passenger seat_

As was custom, the letters that he had written my while serving were to be…buried…along with an empty casket because they could not find his…body._  
_

_Sixpence in a shoe, something barrowed, something blue  
And when the church doors opened up wide  
She put her veil down  
Trying to hide the tears_

As soon as I walked through the church door, I started crying. I lowered my veil so that I could have some semblance of privacy. I disliked it when people saw me cry._  
_

_Oh she just couldn't believe it  
She heard trumpets from the military band  
And the flowers fell out of her hand_

When the band started, the bouquet I was to put on his casket slipped from my hand as I forgot to hold on to them,_  
_

_Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
_

He had promised me that he wouldn't die in battle, and now he had broken that promise.

_I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
_

I felt like my throat was blocked. I couldn't breathe as the funeral started. I couldn't concentrate on what anyone was saying. I was numb.

_Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
_

He told me that he would come home to me and marry me as soon as he could. And now, he cannot come home. He was…he is…dead.

_This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream_

Things like this do not happen to me. I have always been gifted with good luck. My fiancée dying in battle is just a bad recurring dream._  
_

_The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray  
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt_

I tried to listen to the priest, but I could not. I was too grief-stricken. I prayed to God that He would welcome Jasper into His kingdom as soon as St. Peter saw him at the gate._  
_

_Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever hear  
__Then they handed her a folded up flag  
And she held on to all she had left of him  
Oh, and what could have been_

I held onto the Confederate flag as if it were my only life line. The man who handed it to me said that it was the very same flag that Major Whitlock's men and he had marched under while on the battle field. That made it all the more special to me. I would never lose it as long as I lived. I would hang it in the foyer of my house as a reminder of all the good times we shared as a betrothed couple._  
_

_And then the guards rang one last shot  
And it felt like a bullet in her heart  
_

When the guns rang out, every shot felt like it was being fired into a hole in my chest where my heart used to be. I felt broken. Like my life would not be complete without Jasper in it._  
_

_Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream  
_

After I returned to my home from the funeral, I went to my room and cried. I cried for Jasper, I cried for all of the women whose husbands had died in this war, and I cried for the men who had died like my Jasper._  
_

_Oh,  
Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
Oh, now I'll never know  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream  
_

Jasper was my one and only. He was the one I held onto life for. And I can't live without him._  
_

_Oh, this is just a dream  
_

I snuck my father's dagger from his office and hid in my room. I could not go on without Jasper. I raised the dagger, and…………

_Just a dream_


End file.
